Of Brevity and Braiding (Week ending 25/7/14)

Probably the shortest Bite in the (7-week) history of Biting, fellow Biters. Don’t worry, there’ll be lots more to sink all manner of teeth into next week. Hopefully. If not, I’ll just engineer a stock market crash and write a piece on that for you. No sweat.

The big news of the past week was, of course, Batman’s 75th anniversary of being the best pop culture thing since the guillotine. Apart from one piece which I’ve talked about briefly in my fantastic super-awesome why-are-you-not-reading-it review of The Dark Knight Returns, we’re gonna leave the Dark Knight alone for today. Instead, let’s begin with another superhero who performs his work a little further afield…


Chris Pratt, actor behind the upcoming Guardians of the Galaxy‘s Star-Lord, is a masterful French braider



Just to clarify, that means he is great at doing a French braid, not that he’s a braider who is also French. Though that would rock.

Unfortunately, ladies, he’s not single. But let this be a lesson to any men in relationships who read this – LEARN TO FRENCH BRAID AND GET ALL OF THE FOOD. If it works for Chris Pratt, it can work for you too!


Are we adapting too many Batman things from The Dark Knight Returns?



Well worth a read even if you disagree. I did discuss this a little in my review for TDKR yesterday, but it raises some interesting points that provoke some further discussion. Are you happy with a dark and brooding Batman, or would a return to the camp and colour of the 60s stoke your fan fires a little better?

And now I’m imagining a bunch of fans in a roaring fire. No, not people, I meant the kind of fans that keep you cool. Yes. totally.


A son gets to play Xbox with his deceased father


This is really sweet. Probably wasn’t a good idea for me to read it while hunting for birthday cards in The Reject Shop because man, I wept at the end.

I got nothin’ else.


The possibility of a Peter Jackson-directed episode of Doctor Who is looking a little more realistic



Almost a year ago, the man behind those Lord of the Rings films you may have heard of made an overture to direct Doctor Who once Peter Capaldi got involved. He said all he wanted was a Dalek as payment. We all thought that sounded awesome, but unlikely to turn into anything more than an offer.

Welp, looks like we might be wrong. Thankfully.

Zite Bites will now be taking bets on which villain Capaldi’s Doctor will face under Jackson’s direction. Cybermen? Daleks? The Master? KING KONG? THE NAZGUL???

Ok, sorry. I’ll stop now.


Batgirl’s new costume gets an…enthusiastic reaction from Supergirl



Before you dismiss this link as some kind of porn-fuelled representation or manifesting of Rule 34 of the internet, ignore those instincts. This is actually funny. And topical. And cute. Also funny.

Maybe ‘enthusiastic’ wasn’t the right adjective to supply to that headline.


‘Weird’ Al Yankovic’s new album Mandatory Fun is now Mandatory One


If you haven’t get, give it a listen. Even if you don’t know the songs he’s lampooning it’s still a hella good, hella catchy hella album. I don’t know what a hella album is, but it totally is one.

Great to see the music world giving Number 1 to an artist who actually deserves it. I also find a little irony in Weird Al snagging the top spot with a parody of song whose original artist is currently nowhere near Number 1. Hell, I’d maybe even call it karma, but that’d make me sound vindictive.


That’s all for this week. Come back next Friday for another Bite!


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