Of Beginnings, a Call to Arms and the Folly of Thieves (Week ending 6/6/14)

Welcome to ZITE BITES! This informative, snappy, snazzy and oh-so-pretty weekly column combines several articles I find during the week through the Zite news app.

For those not aware, Zite is a great little news aggregator for Apple and Android that combs the interwebs for information based on what you’re interested in, then puts them all into a neat little feed you can peruse while taking the morning’s constitutional or drowning yourself in 7/11 coffee.

Check more about it here. (The Writer’s Multiverse is in no way associated with Zite; this is merely an informational service)

Now, those who regularly peruse this website will know what to expect being in my Zite interests each week – comics, sci-fi, political commentary, world happenings, and things of that nature. If you’re after goss (a word I shall henceforth never use again in this column) concerning Kanye and Kim’s Florence wedding – and the fact it ruined any chance I have of playing Assassin’s Creed II again without thinking it’s the future site of such a hellish union – then you should close this browser immediately and run back to TMZ. This ain’t no Perez Hilton BS, yo.

What you will find is intriguing info on comic releases and author interviews. There’ll be observations on politics and possibly some comments regarding same. Movie tidbits, Star Wars rumours and Batman v. Superman head-slappage will all feature at some point. This is merely a middle-man service – I report the reports.

So if all that sounds painful, I give you this chance to get out now while you still can. Get to da choppah.

Ok, let’s get going.


John Oliver calls the banners to defend Net Neutrality


Do yourself a favour, make a cup of tea, relax on the lounge and spend 13 minutes watching this. Net Neutrality matters. John Oliver is funny and informative. Trolls are idiots. Combine the three and you’ve got something educational without becoming The Newsroom and a call to arms stopping just short of a Lord of the Rings moment.

I’m always a fan of entertainers striking a middle ground between cracking jokes and condensing information into an understandable format. Take the quarter-hour and watch this. It’s NSFW in the sense that you will annoy co-workers with the volume of your laughter. I certainly did.


Two young girls face court over murdering their friend for Slender Man


I’m not really sure what to say about this. My heart goes out to the family of the murdered girl, and props to the SlenderWiki for making no illusions regarding the fictitious nature of their patron. This certainly isn’t the kind of pop culture-inspired killing I’d expect to read about, especially when there’s a dozen commentators out there ready to condemn GTA for its warped hold on the younger generation.

Parents, monitor what your kids are getting into. Slender Man and its spin-offs like Marble Hornets aren’t for kids.


Guy with a GoPro takes a POV video getting robbed at gunpoint


On the one hand, seeing someone get robbed this close and personally gives those of us lucky to have never experienced it a whole new appreciation. Seriously, I was scared just watching the poor guy get accosted by these idiots.

On the other, those idiots are (hopefully) quite boned; clearly the dude in the Jayne hat’s never seen a GoPro before, coz he looks right at the bloody thing. Moron.

Sincerely hope they snag these bastards.


Dude makes one big-ass LEGO Star Destroyer


Pretty much what it says on the tin. Someone made a gigantic, model-esque Star Destroyer entirely out of those things your dad crushes underfoot on the living room carpet. I’m always impressed by large-scale stuff like this (predominantly because the best I can manage when it comes to LEGO are spaceships that are as structurally sound as a treehouse in a monsoon), so it behooves you to at least check out the images and say, “Man, doesn’t that guy have a job, or something?”


Constantine is hitting our screens later than its new-season peers


Does this represent a lack of faith in the latest superhero project NBC have spearheaded, or is it to give the show a fair go on its own once they’ve given us a chance to see the rest of “one of these twenty shows will be back next year” pilot season? I’m desperately hoping for the latter. Last thing we need is a repeat of that Heroes debacle.

I’m actually quite keen to see what NBC are offering when compared to other capeshows like FX’s Arrow and ABC’s Agents of SHIELD. At least they’ve actually gotten his hair colour right this time.


A bar full of Game of Thrones fans watch last Sunday’s episode’s climax (MAJOR SPOILERS PRESENT IN THIS LINK FOR THOSE WHO’VE NOT SEEN THE EPISODE)


For the benefit of those not caught up, I won’t say anything spoilery here. Suffice it to say, I wish I’d been there.


And on that subject, we might be looking at an eighth Song of Ice and Fire book


I wouldn’t mind so much if the release schedule was a bit more consistent and the books’ contents a bit more quickly-paced. I fully understand the frustration George R. R. Martin must feel at getting pestered about Book 6 and beyond, and as a fellow writer I can appreciate needing time to nut everything out properly. That said, please hurry the hell up.


Robert Pattinson might be, but probably isn’t, the rebooted Indiana Jones



Gimme LaBeouf instead. Least we can properly make fun of him.


NASA shows us just how colourfully gorgeous our Universe is


Innit pretty?


Prep a Space Shuttle and load up on Lembas – the Eye of Sauron found in space


Apologies for any who experience nightmares as a result of that hellish image. But still, innit pretty too? (in a horrible, foreboding, one-does-not-simply-fly-into-Mordor kind of way)


Finally, the previously-unwritten rules on how to deal with Star Wars Episode VII on the internet are now written


I, like most right-thinking internet denizens, am sick of Episode VII rumours. I’ve railed on people and articles purporting to have casting announcements, titles, plot notes or set visits that turn out to be horsecrap. Yes, I know I said above I’d probably mention articles about Episode VII here and there, but that’ll be when actual, solid, factually-backed stuff comes to light. Last thing I want is people thinking I’ll report whatever stupid sh*t MoviePilot.com reports.

The bottom line is this: wait till the thing’s out. As with Ben Affleck as Batman, we can’t judge properly until we see the finished product. Save the vitriol for when we actually need it.


Thanks for sticking round, and I’ll see you next week for another Bite!


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