The Internal Monologue of a Thesis Writer (Part 2)

HOLY SHIT.

You’ve got a list as long as your arm of stuff to do – three interviews, an essay re-write, drafting Chapter 3 and setting up an interview with a famous Australia comic author for next week.

And all of it is to be finished today.


BALLS.


Ok, ok, no need to panic. Let’s get the trusty iPod and stick some tunes on.

AC/DC’s “Shoot to Thrill”? Nah, it’ll make me want to watch The Avengers again.

The Pet Shop Boys? I like disco, but not right now.

Nightwish’s new album? All I’ll do is want to look up their tour dates again.

Ok…how about this? Avenue Q’s soundtrack? Yeah, yeah, good choice. “What Do You Do With a BA in English?” indeed!

Right, the interviews – they’re in America, so their time differential means I have three hours before I have to open Skype. Good-o. I’ll shoot an email to the comic author right now, set up next week’s gig.

Now, this goddamn mother pusbucket piece of feck essay. Let’s do that bit first.

The topic seems easy enough, and I wrote it about both review subjects – the ways in which superheroes are visually superior to all forms of plantlife and Tom Cruise? Genius stuff, but apparently not mainstream enough for the academics. Let’s streamline it.

If we’re going for visual appeal, Batman’s the obvious choice – I’ve got the Les Daniels notes from Wikipedia, plus a bunch of citations from Morrison, Boichel and Wright that all describe his Transylvanian roots, the Superman-opposite origins and the way his costume evolved from the 1930s into the brooding suit of armour it is now. Whereas Cap…he’s the Stars and Stripes. That’s about it.

Let’s ditch that angle.

Oh god this is boring. Time for a quick Xbox break. Hrm, looks like Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood isn’t that bad after all…

WHAT THE FUCK??? It’s been three hours??? I only just started playing!

Dammit.

Ok, now, let’s go quickly over the Morrison notes before I write more stuff…hrm, I never noticed how pretty my N7 watch is…I think I need more watches now.

eBay!


Now, of course, I’m broke, but that doesn’t mean I can’t shell out some money in next week’s pay. That StarCraft watch looks pretty sick. And I wouldn’t mind that Sex Bob-Omb one too, though it is shipping from Hong Kong so it might take a while to –

ANOTHER TWO HOURS??? Goddammit. This is getting ridiculous.

Alright, Morrison notes. No more distractions. Nothing. Morrison. He’s awesome, and so are his notes.

You know what else is awesome? Coffee. Let’s get some of that.

NOW IS NOT THE TIME, CHRISTOPHER.


Who the hell are you?

YOUR GUILT COMPLEX. YOU KNOW YOU’LL FEEL BAD IF YOU DON’T GET MORE WORK DONE.


Meh. I’ve got two months before the near-final draft is due.

AND HOW MUCH OF IT HAVE YOU WRITTEN?


…not a whole lot…

AND YOUR ESSAY?


…still needs rewrites…

AND THAT’S NOT EVEN TAKING INTO ACCOUNT YOUR BIBLIOGRAPHY.


…no, I suppose not. I should probably open EndNote –

YOU ONLY HAVE THREE SOURCES.


No, I’ve got four –

WIKIPEDIA DOES NOT COUNT.


Hmph. Be that way.

KEEP IN MIND YOU HAVE A PRESENTATION NEXT WEEK, TOO. WITH ALL THOSE FANCY ACADEMICS AND STUDENTS FROM HONOURS PROGRAMS. Y’KNOW, STUDENTS WHO ACTUALLY WORK AND ARE INTELLIGENT AND TALK ABOUT MEANINGFUL THINGS.


There is nothing wrong with talking seriously about men in tights on pieces of glossy paper beating people up!

POINT PROVEN.


Shut up.

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