Why is it that the majority of customers walking into my store only want things if they’re discounted? Why are the phrases “how much can you reduce that by?” or “is there any special on that?” at the forefront of their tiny little minds? How is it they cannot grasp that if a price tag says something is $100 then chances are the pricing computer will say exactly the same thing?

For the longest time since I’ve been in retail I’ve been under the impression that to be a shopper you have to undergo some kind of compulsory lobotomy that removes both the rational and understanding parts of your brain and replaces them with a discount-hungry machine that cannot be sated by anything less than 25% off that pair of shoes you’ve been eyeing for God-knows how long. It appears that these de-evolved cretins are ever-present in my current occupation as a jeweller, at frighteningly, staggeringly high levels and frequencies throughout the week.

While I enjoy a good shopping discount as much as anyone, I know not to push my luck by asking the man at the video games store to give me an extra $5 off the already-reduced-by-$60 game that I want so desperately.

Apparently that’s not meant to apply to jewellery stores.

Is this an unwritten rule that came into existence when I wasn’t loooking? Because we’re offering precious stones and shiny metals does that make us exempt from the same kind of decency you’d give to the video games man by not asking for that extra $5?

Should I take a leaf out of my friend’s former manager’s book, and offer to buy them lunch in lieu of a discount?

If only you could forcibly eject those assholes…


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